Mantra Monday: What To Do When You Realize You Didn't Believe In Yourself

Are you someone with that voice in your head...


You know the one that tells you can't do something... The one that says you're not good enough... The one that continually tells you that you're going to fail.

This voice never leaves you, it taunts you and makes you question your actions and worth on a daily basis.  It criticizes your judgment, it makes simple decision making difficult. It breaks you down when you think you can't break any more. It's full of endless negative commentary.

Self-doubt can be your biggest set back when you strive to achieve the greater desires in life. There are times when you can block it out but more often than not if you are like me there are more times that it consumes your being and establishes a barrier to your goals.

Self-doubt isn't kind and it steals your joy. It can devour your happiness and strip you of every ounce of confidence you once built. It can take your logical reasoning skills and establish craziness. Yet, instead of building you up, it leaves you empty full of fear and insecurity.

You try to do the right thing. You read the right books. You go to church. You pray. You celebrate other's success. You set out every day to be a good person. You force yourself into thinking positively when underneath the surface you hate yourself.

This voice is strong, it's resilient and it will fight back. It has the deepest knowledge of your true desires and it's fueled by your fear.

For years, I spent my life giving my all but falling short, or so I thought. I have never been the overly popular one, the pretty one, or the smartest one. I came from a world that until I openly shared about it, made me feel like I was an outcast and alone. For the majority of my life, I compared myself to others, wanted what others had and tried to be something I am not. For years, I stopped myself before I even got started because I never thought I was good enough.

I am the product of a world full of negativity, I grew up in a different world and I have the long term memory loss that forever leaves me feeling afraid to share the truth. I have been afraid all of my life about what other's think, when people whisper by me I wonder if they are judging me. I was afraid to share my artwork, my love of fitness, my desire to do more with my life through charity work and honestly my desire to not be alone.

Fear is like self-doubt, it grabs you, it's cold hand wraps around your throat and makes it impossible for you to speak the truth you want to express. It takes the things you love and diminishes them to the lowest levels making you feel unworthy. This infectious hold can consume you to the point you unconsciously question your daily actions, intelligence and abilities. If you're like me, you strive for the strength to release the grasp to breathe again.

One day, life took everything that brought me stability and forced me to establish a footing to stand on that only I could define. This road was broken, it had many dead ends and was dark but there was a small light...it was dim but it was there.

If I wanted to reach it, I had to believe in myself. I needed to crush my self-doubt, build my strength to not only speak from the heart but speak with the passion that I so desperately knew I had in me. It was time that I pushed past all of my fears, all of the ridicule to thrive in my own light.

Fast forward to now. Gina post Summit. What's different?

I now understand that it was my lack of belief in myself that's prevented me from truly succeeding in the world I desire to thrive in. I now realize that being critical is a beautiful thing because it makes me strive to present to the best of my abilities. Most importantly I realize that my self-doubt is my soul crying out for help.

I've accepted doubt as part of the human system. It's a regular emotion just like happiness, love and anger. Instead of trying to define it and then defy it, I have accepted it so that I can understand it. Thus enabling me to improve myself and realize you cannot fight with fear instead you must establish a strength that in times of criticism can openly view all sides without bias.

No longer will I allow myself to be limited by the fear of others thoughts, no longer will I allow myself to be limited by my own self-doubt. Now I will pay attention to the voice that initially starts with a whisper before it eventually begins to yell. Each day I choose to set out to be my best, with my blinders on, not comparing myself to those around me.

Perfection is not my sole goal anymore. Instead I strive to achieve my personal goals in life, love and business to live a more fulfilled life. I will do this by checking off my boxes daily on what's important to me, I will trust and love myself, I will stop listening to those who are toxic and tell me I cannot do something I love and I will identify self doubt in a way to establish success.

If you're like me, give yourself permission to fail. But fail forward.
If you're like me, give yourself permission to share your passion daily.
If you're like me, give yourself permission to rest when you are weary.
If you're like me, give yourself permission to go after your dreams.
If you're like me, give yourself permission to breathe.
If you're like me, give yourself permission to try...and try again.