Work For It Wednesday: Mental Health

Mental health is one of those things that personally for me has always been taboo to talk about. I have never wanted to talk about my anxiety and the insane lists and thoughts that form in my head on a daily basis. Honestly, I have felt like I was going insane multiple times because of my inability to control my anxiety....it gets as bad that on trips when I am in the passenger seat I will count the lines that make up the letters on the signs....yes this was something that took me years to stop!

Then last year, my life was completely flipped upside down and that anxiety turned into a losing battle with depression. At first, I thought I was just sad, devastating loss obviously leads you to be upset but after a couple months something was wrong. Sad was an understatement. Some days, I didn't eat, shower, or speak to other people. I showed up to work. Did my job. Went home and closed the door to my bedroom. The room was dark. I slept. Woke up and did it again the next day.

This isolation lead me to go from not eating to late night binge eating. After a three hour nap after work, I would wake up, snack while binge watching shows on Netflix and Hulu for hours until I was ready to go back to bed. I wasn't working out. I was paying for a gym membership that I never used. Lacking motivation was an understatement. I truly didn't have a care for anything. It didn't take me long to become overweight. I'm short, not a large individual to begin with so this pattern lead me to gaining 12 pounds very fast. I hid it wearing comfortable clothes. I avoided wearing a bathing suit at all costs. I would turn down invitations if I couldn't wear clothes that hid my poor choices.

It wasn't about being overweight for me. It was about admitting I had lost complete control of my life. My anxiety mixed with depression was a dangerous cocktail for constant self criticism, constant comparison to others and constant self hate. These words were silent. No one heard me speak them. It's what I told myself daily when I was forced to look in the mirror brushing my teeth. Being a Melancholy personality (Personality Plus Florence Littauer), I had a serious desire to achieve perfection in all aspects of my life...clearly I was far from perfect and it was showing.

This lasted almost an entire year....the desire to change came from having to find something to wear to a summer party. I was at Macy's and I had to try something on because I had no clue what size would fit me....I stood there...in those mirrors and bright lights in tears. There I stood. Broken. Tired. Depression. Sickened by the result of my choices. Nothing like a dose of reality in surrounding mirrors. The person in the mirror was a stranger. I knew deep down there was a person inside that hollow soul. Somewhere was the selfless, loving, grateful person who had become broken.

Change came in the form of a major self reflection and a huge shift in my mentality. It started with getting my health and fitness in check. Because of my poor choices, my health was dwindling. I was causing myself to dance dangerously with diabetes and I was risking my healing from the surgeries I had to have because of a life threatening mass. This was a small step towards a greater cause-> mental health.

Anxiety and depression plague so many successful people. No one talks about it or wants to admit it but a lot of successful people have found themselves in a dark place at some point or another. What makes the difference? How do you overcome this struggle and thrive instead of survive? With changing your mindset in all aspects of life. For me, I had to learn to love myself, for me, not relying on another person to tell me my worth and learning to pay it forward to others. This isn't easy. I lapse a lot. But now, a year later, I sit writing this because I am succeeding and even though I experience lows, there are many more highs that keep me moving forward.

Coaching has become the missing link in conquering my anxiety and depression because as a coach there is a lot of emphasis on health (mental, physical and emotional). We cannot lead if we are broken. We can lead best by sharing our struggles and teaching others how they can better their lives to conquer those low days and overcome the daily struggles life continues to present. Being a coach, I have learned the importance of personal development.-->Now I know what you are thinking because I thought the same thing, "self help...pshhh no thanks." Here I sit, reading daily and listening to podcasts in my car constantly. Personal development isn't about self help, it's the gateway to improving on those aspects of our life that bring us such struggles.

If you struggle with depression-> there's a book for that. Confidence ->ohhh there are a lot of those. Leadership ->best believe it. Financial stress ->YES! Personal development is the title to a vast category of opportunities to grow as a person and live a more fulfilled life. For me, currently, I am reading the Personality Plus blog that has shown me that with my personality type it is normal that I think something is wrong with me because I am not jovial or lighthearted. This whole time I thought I was going insane...but that's my internal desire to control situations, be perfect and be successful always.

Because I have issues with anxiety and depression, I have felt more like a failure than a success. I get in my own head on a daily basis questioning why I said that...how could I have missed that? Made a wrong turn-> yup I would beat myself up over that. Every simple, small, seemingly insignificant failure to me was HUGE. But it's taken me a year of learning, growing and understanding that we are all created a certain way for a reason. We all serve a purpose and for me that struggle is no longer a mess but my message. If you suffer from mental health issues you are not alone. We are regular people who may have a battle but we truly can control our reactions and build quality lives.

If you are looking for a healthy outlet then feel free to fill out the application below. I am running a health and fitness group that is going to focus on physical, mental and emotional health. We start January 4th! Let's go into 2016 stronger in all aspects of our lives so we don't have to struggle.

P.S. Looking for a PD book? Here are some of my favorites!
CONFIDENCE:
1. You Are A Badass- Jen Sincero
2. Go Giver- Bob Burg, John David Mann
3. I Am That Girl-Alexis Jones
4. You Are Made For A God-Sized Dream- Holley Gerth
5. The Untethered Soul-Michael Singer
6. Personality Plus-Florence Littauer

BUSINESS:
1. Go Pro- Eric Worre
2. The Slight Edge- Jeff Olson
3. The Compound Effect- Darren Hardy
4.Rock Your Network Marketing Business- Sarah Robbins
5. Go For No-Andrea Waltz, Richard Fenton
6. The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership- John C Maxwell
7. The $100 Start Up-Chris Guillebeau


PODCASTS:
1. The Chalene Show-Chalene Johnson
2. The Platinum Edge-Christine Dwyer
3. Entrepreneur on Fire- Woody Woodward
4. The School of Greatness-Lewis Howes
5. Team Beachbody podcast (old summit and NWCs)

Fill out my online form.

HTML Forms powered by Wufoo.